random thoughts

a struggle
"unconditional love" - two very simple words, it means loving someone else without any conditions. but it's just so difficult to apply it in our daily lives. maybe i'm speaking just for myself? when i think of unconditional love, i think of just being nice to people, and just accepting them for who they are. but then i'm sure there are people that everyone encounters people that irritates them, that gets on their nerves. and i shall admit that i'm no different from such people.. this is the time when i feel that it's not very practical to apply the concept of "unconditional love" cos i don't like to put up a facade in front of people? and i feel that being nice to someone i don't like would make me do just that! but as i was talking to a few people, it finally dawned on me that showing unconditional love doesn't essentially mean just being nice and amiable to others. it also involves pointing out each other's faults and helping each other to grow in Christ as well as to grow as a person, and well, just being true to one another =) but on the otherhand, how am i supposed to tell someone his/her faults when i don't even know that person well? that i don't even dare to open myself up in front of him/her?

practical lesson
anyway, on to lighter-hearted things, i had the most hilarious practical class on tue aft.. the students looked like china men sitting down on the floor and looking at the ruler oscillate! and when they were counting the number of oscillations, they looked so super serious (something that's really really rare during tutorial lessons)! so i was just there laughing at the class, and wondering to myself if i ever looked so dumb during a physics experiment.. haha! oh, there's more! their class broke a wooden meter rule as well as twisted a G-clamp out of alignment! btw, a G-clamp is made of metal and i literally heard a piece of the metal crack! =P

my thoughts on my career
i finally sorted out my thoughts (or rather, what i hope will be the final decision that i'll make =P) and i think i really want to pursue in speech therapy, hoping to specialise (if they have) in paediatrical speech pathology.. well, i think i like a job that involves me to associate with people on a personal level? and being a speech therapy will allow me time to get to know a patient better as i get to work with that patient for a substantial amount of time, treating him/her and helping them to improve =) then i always ask myself, won't med give me the same satisfaction? but somehow i feel that a doctor just treats u? say if i'm a gp in a polyclinic, i'll be seeing different people everyday, and the kind of level u talk to a person is a more professional one? not really that personal..
yah well, i guess u can tell that i'm always debating within myself whether i should do med or speech therapy. honestly, i dunno! time and results will tell! =P but at this point in time, i'll have to say speech therapy.. which means, i'll definitely have to go overseas and leave all my friends behind =\ i dunno! oh well..

decisions decisions decisions argh!
i really hate making decisions. God says that He has a plan for us, and each of us are created for a different purpose in life, which means that God already knows what He wants us to do before He even created us =) so why can't He give us fixed roles to play in the expansion of His kingdom instead of giving us choices? imagine if He did that, would there still be sin cos of self-centred people? or will His kingdom be instead filled with God-centred people? sometimes i really wonder, if God has a plan for us, why do we still need to make decisions? =P that's a retarded question! haha and a lousy excuse for me cos i don't like making decisions! hmm.. haha!!