medicine or speech therapy

medicine or speech therapy? this is the question i've been asking myself these few days as i submitted my aus uni applications..

really, i truly cannot decide which one i want to study.. both has it's pros and cons.. sometimes i wonder if i study med cos it just seems the natural path for a triple science student, that when u've done well for ur A levels, everyone just assumes that u're smart in science and well, med would be good! sometimes i wonder why i want to do med - is it for my personal glory? or is this what God wants me to do?

as i did quiet time yesterday (eh grace, i did my qt! =P), it reminded me that we shouldn't be caught up in achieving our personal goals that we fail to listen to God.. i guess, the only way is really to just pray to God and ask Him.. i know many people are confused as to what to do with their lives.. it's scary just thinking of it cos once u've made ur decision now (at 19), u'll more or less be doing the course and career that u've chosen for the rest of ur life.. and what if i make the wrong decision? what if i choose med and flung out halfway? and what if i can't get into any med sch? sigh.. questions after questions just haunts me =/ it's not that i'm being pessimistic and all, but it's just the reality that i think i'm going to face.. and not everything is going to be so smooth-sailing and happy in the future..

and i was just thinking of overseas study.. i think if i do go, i really am going to miss everything and everyone here at home in singapore.. my family-who's been there for me in moments of happiness and sadness (well, they're the first i called to tell abt my results), as well as tolerating all my tantrums and nonsense.. my friends-whom i've always loved! i can't imagine what i'm going to do without all my friends, they're ppl who i complain to abt other ppl =P, ppl who i ask questions abt stuff when i'm in doubt, and ppl who're just fun to be with! and of cos, my bed and my stuff toys and my room.. i'm going to miss all these things..

....what the heck, i'm not even 10% sure that i'm going overseas to study.. and i'm already thinking abt these things/ppl and missing them already.. sigh what if the day actually comes when i have to leave spore to go overseas to study..........

let that day come (or not come), till then, i'll just enjoy!