i feel lost, seriously, lost in piles and piles of unread notes, piles and piles of unread books.. but more importantly, i feel lost in life, like there's no meaning to what i'm doing everyday, to who i'm talking to everyday.. ahh, i realise, and it just sudd dawn upon me as to why i'm feeling this way.. and that's cos i've been putting God aside..

i've felt this way pretty much often.. but then again, i was never that stressed up cos the last 7 months of my life was spent playing and doing non-study things..

why do i only turn back to God when everything seems wrong?? but perhaps, as many ppl said before, God puts all these trials and obstacles in our lives to draw us closer to Him.. i was very inspired reading yina's email on how she grew closer to God just by being alone.. i think it's so true, it's when u're all alone, not affected by anything of this world, that u can begin to pray, to meditate on His words, and to just think abt how much God loves us..

i feel very guilty for not always doing my quiet time.. always telling myself that these things can be done another time.. and not to worry.. but i guess not.. i've kind of learnt my lesson.. thinking back on the past yr, i realise the reason why i enjoyed the last yr (even though it was As yr) was cos i was still maintaining a close relationship with God =) ahhh.. sounds so childish and all, but yah, i think that was the reason i made it through that yr.. it was the strength and mercy from God!

feel much better saying all these things =)